Victor Turns 5 and a Rainbow Cake

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Víctor turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. He wanted a rainbow birthday party. My heart melted.

How cute is this boy of mine? Such a lover and a force. Also, a mischief-maker, no doubt. He is becoming a big kid and his personality shows. There is no lack of self-esteem in this one, I’ll tell you.

We always celebrate Víctor’s birthday up at the cottage. The closest town is 45-minutes away, so I need to bring decorations from LA…in a suitcase…9 hours traveling. You get the picture.

This year, Víctor wanted a rainbow themed party, I hauled 6 streamer rolls of all rainbow colors from the West Coast. I also hauled colorful plastic silverware and geometric cardboard cutouts to decorate the table. All these occupied 1/3 of my suitcase. I am a good mom, I know.

For the party, Víctor wanted to have a rainbow cake. I learned a couple of things after baking that rainbow cake. First, I learned that rainbow cakes are beautiful and gross. Second, I learned that even natural food colorings are the opposite of natural. Finally, I learned that only 5 year olds eat rainbow cake. I ended up with ½ of the cake in the trash, but I did take some nice pictures and we know that this is the only thing that matters in 2016.

The party was a success. Víctor was happy. His cousins were happy. I, on the other hand, was tired because I have been the opposite of a high-achiever lately. My only interests have been to get a drink and read Nora Ephron.

If anybody asks me in the future what I did in the summer of 2016, I will say: “I drank vodka soda, read Nora Ephron, thought of my dad, and hosted a rainbow birthday party”.  I should also say that I dropped my cellphone in the water, but everybody does that once in their lifetime.

Happy Birthday my beautiful and noisy boy!

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A Year Blogging And Thanks

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It is hard to pin point the year anniversary of this blog. My first post was in June, 2015, but I didn’t start posting regularly until August, and made my blog public only in September.

I have always been a private person but then decided I didn’t want to be anymore. I realized I will be dead in 50 years and why should I care about other’s criticism or ill opinions of me? Oh! Who am I kidding? Of course I care, but that care doesn’t guide my life anymore, freezing it with unwanted failed expectations.

A year ago, my husband interfered, I started this blog, and I have enjoyed it… a lot.

Why? I have met new people, I am more interested in the world, have rekindle relationships that thought lost, started taking pictures and writing again, and embraced creativity.

This first year my goal has been to have fun writing content I like. I haven’t wanted to be one kind of blog. Readership has been growing slowly but steadily.

Now that I have been writing for a year, I realized I still don’t want to commit to be one kind of blog. I am afraid it wouldn’t be fun for me anymore.

Now, let’s talk about content.

Most Popular Posts So Far

1) Snooping On Etsy – Woven Wall Hangings

2) One Room Challenge- Week 6 – Kid’s Room – the Reveal

3) On Aging – My Dad

4) Myths About Women – Women are Catty And Hard To Work With

The Snooping on Etsy post is interesting. I have thousands and thousands of views on that one but not one comment. It went what you would call viral but I don’t know how.

Good news is that this short list makes me realize people are not interested in beautiful things only (although they are) when reading blogs, and it encourages me to be more personal in my writing.

Most Popular Posts Lately

1) An Interview About The Beauty And Difficulties About Fostering A Child, and,

2) Carol’s Famous Blueberry Pie. I don’t understand why, but this pie recipe that I published only last week has already thousands of views. I am baffled. You just never know.

Unpopular Post

The least popular post has been “10 Hats For Under $100.” I only wrote it a couple of weeks ago so it is not very fair to name it the most unpopular, but it has the least views and some of my friends complained about a post that mentions hats that cost that amount. Who would get a $100 hat anyway!? Well, some people would, but, still, that post was badly framed, as there is only one hat in that list that costs $100, so I could have perfectly well named the entry “Hats,” reducing my cluelessness a couple of points.  In case you are wondering, fashion posts always find a way around the Internet, like “Coats for Spring/Summer 2015.” People liked that post and is always getting new views, so I had a good reason to be insensible.

What are my goals for next year?

My main goal is to keep on finding my voice, get better at taking pictures, and meet nice people. Maybe get serious about increasing readership and making some money. We will see.

Thank you

Gratitude is such a pretentious word, don’t you think? I won’t use it. Still, I wanted to thank (and be grateful f0r) those of you who have been coming here to read all these. I like the company and appreciate the comments. A lot.  I am sorry I can’t be more predictable in my content, but I hope you don’t mind the eclectic thematic posts.

I always wanted to be a member of a feminist sorority but was never able to. Maybe, now I am.

Opinions and suggestions are welcome as comments or to my email milamoragaholz[at]yahoo.com.

I will take the rest of the week to enjoy our vacation. I will be back next week. Thanks a lot.

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Bye, bye, Dad. Adiós, Papá.

jestcafe.com--dad22016 has been a difficult year for the world and personally.

The worst for me so far has been the death of my dad almost two months ago. I haven’t written about it because it brings so much pain and sadness, but I don’t want this blog to be only about fun and beautiful things. Blogs can be so shallow sometimes. It is hard to find a balance. I am struggling with it.

So, two months ago, my dad stop existing in this world and a little bit of my soul died with him. This strong feeling surprised me. I never thought I would be so affected. Please, don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I left Chile 15 years ago for LA. Since then, my dad has been a distant geographical figure. We talked only once every couple of weeks. Sometimes, I wouldn’t call him in months, but he was there, alive and warm, every time I called him. Loving me so much and I loving him.

I have realized now that his place in my soul was strong and dominant. Knowing of his existence and unconditional love helped me breath. Now that help is gone and I suffer the loss.

Three years ago, we started seeing more of each other. He would come to LA and spend a month at a time. We went to museums, concerts, and enjoyed each other’s company. My kids are older now, and I am doing better financially, so we could afford the time and money to do many things. I thought it was only the beginning. My dad was so healthy, so full of energy, so in love with his grandkids, but now all that has passed. He is gone and I am left here to grieve.

Death is so definite. No matter how much you cry, no matter how much you suffer, the one you lost is gone forever. That phone call will always be misdialed; nobody answering the other line. Before my dad died I could understand this in theory, now I understand it in my heart.

I have found that grieving takes time and it is a personal journey. Nobody can help you. It is your suffering and your lost. You never know what will trigger the pain: a song in the radio or the full moon shining bright in the dark sky. Anything could bring back the memory of his blue eyes and full smile, leaving my heart to heal. My heart is exhausted of healing and breaking down again.

But I want to talk about my dad and who he was for me. My dad was, no doubt, one of the people that loved me the most: my first love. He marveled at everything: the beauty of a flower; the smile of his grandkids; a poem; a loving painting. He was a sensitive man and taught me to appreciate the subtleties of life. He was very poor growing up and lost his mother when he was three year old. This always pained him. I didn’t understand. I understand now.

He was a sensitive man. The practical world didn’t interest him. The world of words and feelings was more attractive to him. If you wanted to connect, you needed to sync into his words and find common ground. He was a character, a man that didn’t leave you indifferent. His take on the world was special and people surrounding him took notice. Two months ago he had a stroke and he was gone within 36 hours. I was able to fly down and say goodbye before he parted this world. I miss him deeply.

I don’t want this post to be too long, but I wanted to pay a small tribute, reluctantly, knowing that writing this will leave me in sorrow for days afterwards.

Grief walks you through so many different paths: surprise, sadness, anger, denial, and despair. Right now, I feel a little angry and checked out. It is hard to care about anything. Life and it’s true meaning seem unimportant to me. I know this will pass, but now it is too real to rationalize anything.

The thing is, my daddy might be gone, but my love for him is not.

Is there anybody else out there having a bad year? My friends tell me it is a trend. It certainly seems like it by reading the newspapers. I will welcome 2017.

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A Trick To Help Your Kids With Their Bedtime Routine

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